To Hell and Back
by Maria Sophania
Summary: InuYasha and Kagome finally got it right. But there's a promise InuYasha still has to keep, regardless of the state of his own happiness... Inu/Kag
1. Goodbye Isn't Forever, Is It?

Author Note:

Firstly, please note that this particular story has been sitting on my computer for some time. I wrote it before I started reading the manga, so here our favorite undead priestess is still dwelling among the world of the living.

Secondly, I had intended to write something that went before and after this piece, but I have about twenty different snippets of stories on my hard drive and never could make any of them work. One day, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll write something, but for now, assume Kagome and InuYasha's relationship is further along than Rumiko has taken it in both the anime and the manga.

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. If I did…things would be different.

**To Hell and Back**

by Maria Sophania

**Goodbye Isn't Forever**

He stood in front of them, his haori untucked and untied revealing his muscled chest. His strong arm remained around her side, clutching her tightly to his own as he said goodbye to his companions.

Growing up, he never imagined he could have this…this _family_. He was an outcast, mocked and ridiculed by the people he thought he could have trusted. His mother was his world, her arms so strong, her words so kind. She took everything the people dished out to both herself and him, never wavering. When she had died, he found exactly how cruel the world truly was.

Then he had met Kikyou. The woman who spared him his life so many times over all those years ago only to cash in on his promise when the prospect of a truly happy life seemed possible.

_Happiness_. _Kagome_.

Kagome remained silent beside him, tears stinging her eyes but not falling. At that, he could not help but glance down at her slightly rounded belly as the fingers of his arm that wrapped around her clenched the fabric there.

_Keh. Perhaps happiness really _isn't_ possible for a pathetic hanyou_.

It was Sango who broke the silence, her strong voice quieted by the heavy air around them.

"Thank you, InuYasha. Without your help, I would never have been able to save Kohaku. I am indebted to you." Sango bowed her head, her hands clasped together in front of her. Tears streaked her face as she look back up and approached the hanyou, wrapping her arms around his larger frame. InuYasha never let loose Kagome, his free hand coming to pat the taijiya awkwardly on the back.

"Thank you, Sango. Without your strength, we never would have gotten this far. Hell, you've gotten us out of more pinches than I've gotten us into" He smirked at the woman he had admired for so long. She was so strong. Her heart, her body, her mind. His words were true and heartfelt as he spoke them, evoking a choked sob from the woman as she bowed her head with a whispered, "Thank _you_, InuYasha," and returned to her place at the houshi's side.

Miroku remained rooted to his spot, his eyes glazed over with what he hoped was a controlled expression.

"InuYasha, I have lived my entire life truly _believing_ that I would die the same way as my father and his father before him. I had accepted this death until you and Kagome-sama came and gave me something greater than either myself or my fathers before me had ever had: hope. For that, InuYasha, I shall never forget your name or your place in my own heart and memories. May Kami smile upon you in that dark place that you must now journey."

Miruko brought a single hand up in a gesture of prayer and bowed his head, a single tear streaking down his cheek.

InuYasha gulped. He had never had friends before, and this saying goodbye thing was _way_ harder than he had thought it was going to be.

"I think I'd rather you had kept your hands to yourself and off my mate, _bouzo_, but I couldn't imagine our journey without your being here." That was all the two men needed. No more words were spoken among them, understanding coming to their hearts and that manly pride to not cry over another man ringing in their minds.

InuYasha still remained as stoic as ever, his brows set and his voice sure. He was holding it in better than he thought he would. Or at least until that ball of brown fur launched himself at him.

The kitsune clutched InuYasha's open haori, his green orbs glancing on the hanyou's disheveled hair and sullen face.

"Please, InuYasha, don't go! I mean, I'll be nice, I swear! Just don't leave us, please, InuYasha!"

Bringing a hand to dislodge the kit from his form, he gently brought the form to meet his amber eyes. "It's your job now, Shippou. It's _your_ job to protect them. All of them. It's your job to protect Kagome and my pup. Don't let me down, ok Shippou?"

His words were gentle and his eyes firm. The kitsune slowly nodded his head, remaining uncharacteristically quiet. The hanyou gently set the kit down as he ran to stand beside Miroku, his eyes set on determination.

InuYasha turned his eyes to the neko-youkai, growling slightly as the neko mewed in response.

That was everyone but the one that made it all the hardest. His eyes darted down to his friend, lover, and mate. Her eyes remained ahead, her fingers clutching his haori. He had already said his goodbye to her, and he would be damned if he would go through that again.

_/Flashback/_

InuYasha clutched her shoulders harder as he bit back tears. This was the last time he would ever feel her form beneath his, her warm body wrapped around his larger one, her beautiful voice as it caressed his ears and soul as she shouted his name in ecstasy.

He heard her moan underneath him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. His tongue moved over a mark on her neck, _his_ mark, eliciting another needier moan. Kagome grunted at his actions, aggravated at her lover's steady but slow pace.

"InuYasha…"

He grinned at the sound of her aggravated tone. When it came to them and mating absolutely nothing was slow, and tonight he did nothing but take everything at an unhurried pace.

At her whimper, he braced himself and sped up, rocking their forms until she could not buck against him in time for his next thrust. He buried his head in her neck as he neared his peak, both feeling and smelling the woman beneath him reaching her own.

Her arms tightened against his back, legs clutched his hips, and her walls tensed as she screamed out his name.

InuYasha reveled in the sound as he let out a deep growl, one that Kagome knew by heart, and pumped into her one last time as hard as he could without hurting her fragile form.

Kagome loved the rumble in his chest as it sent shivers down her spine and sweat soaked body. Both lay panting for what seemed like eternity until InuYasha lifted his head from her chest, his member still nestled in her core.

"I love you, Kagome."

There was something she could not recognize in his eyes, realization coming to her as a single tear slid down his cheek.

"Oh, InuYasha."

She clutched him tighter as he buried his head in her chest once more, both trying to suppress sobs from ruining their moment.

"Take care of him, Kagome. Or her. I don't really care as long as you both are happy."

InuYasha brought a hand to her rounded stomach and rested it there, his eyes gazing at the slight protrusion from their position on his mate's chest.

Kagome stifled a sob, nodding her head as she closed her eyes and focused on InuYasha's fingers caressing the outward shell of her womb. _Only a couple more months_._ If they could wait just a couple more months_.

"Take the Tetsusaiga. A legacy from me and my father. Maybe he'll add his own fang to it one day. Or hers. Whichever." InuYasha grinned as he absently continued to rub his mate's naked stomach, the aforementioned sword resting—always—within arms reach.

"I'm sorry I made that promise, Kagome." He raised his head, his face now level with her own, one hand bracing his weight under her shoulder as the other continued his ministrations on her swollen abdomen.

She brought a hand to caress his face, a sad smile gracing her lips.

"Don't ever be sorry, InuYasha. I understand. I really do."

He took one last look into her eyes and crushed his lips to hers, pouring in every ounce of love, longing, and fear he had within him.

When they broke, they stared into each other's eyes for a moment before InuYasha shifted so as not to crush her and his pup and buried his face into the neck of his mate. Kagome turned her head to press against his, familiar ears twitching against her cheek.

And lying like that, they had cried.

_/End Flashback/_

And now here they stood, clutching her form desperately to his side, his ears pinned against his head in sorrow.

He looked up from her form and addressed his friends…his _family_.

"Will you guys come? Part of the way, I mean."

InuYasha averted his eyes, hoping they would think no less of him for wanting their help. It was hard enough to do this now with everyone here, it would have been harder to do it alone with his mind full of regrets.

His comrades nodded to him as he turned and led the way into the forest.

They walked in silence until some while later InuYasha stopped and glanced back at his companions one last time. He smiled at them, the most genuine smile he knew. They halted in understanding, Miroku moving to sit against a tree nearby.

They would wait here for Kagome to return without her mate.

He turned back to the path and began walking again, still holding desperately to the woman at his side.

They walked for several minutes before InuYasha halted, sniffing the air and gazing up as he noticed shinidama-chuu soaring above. _She's close_. He glanced down at the woman at his side, her eyes downcast as a hand absently rubbed her belly.

He shifted his shoulders, loosing contact with her warmth for only a moment as his red haori fell from his shoulders. He draped it across her, running his hands down her arms as he smiled at her. _For their pup_. Kagome nodded in understanding as InuYasha wrapped his arm around her again, pulling her close.

He brought his free hand to her chin and raised her face until he could claim her lips. Within the kiss, he tried to give all his love, but to Kagome, some fear seeped through despite his attempts at holding it at bay.

There was no innocence in their kiss, in their caresses, in their clutched arms and hands. InuYasha held onto Kagome for dear life, coming to rest his forehead on the one of the smaller woman in his arms.

"Ka-Kagome…"

Kagome brought her fingers to rest on his lips, silencing him with a "shhh." He grinned in spite of himself as he nipped at her fingers, a thought forming in his mind. _She's going to be an amazing mother_.

"We'll be ok, you know that. This _pup_ will know that his, or _her_, father was the greatest man who had ever lived. We'll never forget you, InuYasha." She wrapped her arms around his neck squeezing tight as the hanyou encircled her form with his arms, pressing every inch of her against him. He could feel her enlarging breasts against his chest. He could feel his growing pup against his stomach. He could feel her warm breath on his neck. And he thought everything he had endured up until now was worth it, to just have this moment.

He reluctantly pulled away, raising her face to his once again, one last time, to press a slow, deep kiss on her lips. He gently pulled away, pulling Tetsusaiga from its place and allowing Kagome to gently wrap her shaking fingers around the sheath.

"I love you, InuYasha, my _hanyou_."

"I love you, Kagome, my _mate_."

With those words, he kissed her again as hard as he could. Pulling inside of him every last ounce of strength, he gently pulled away, catching her eyes and inhaling her scent one last time before loosening his grip and turning from her form.

As InuYasha disappeared into the trees ahead, Kagome noticed a small, wet trail that followed him into the darkness.

He could smell it as he walked away from her. The air smelled of nothing but tears. And he knew she was not the only one making it that way.

InuYasha could not help but allow them to fall. He could not hold them back anymore. He could count on one hand how many times he had cried in his life, including the night before.

He reached the clearing in silence, head hung low, ears still pinned against his head, suikan untucked, hair in disarray, and sorrow in his eyes.

That was the condition that Kikyou, his beloved, found him in as he approached her, prepared to keep his promise.

He stopped a few feet from her, his amber eyes rising to hers in determination. He had loved this woman once, and loved her still. But this woman held nothing but his past. It was Kagome who held his future, a small growing life with only a few months to go.

"Well, Kikyou…I'm ready."

_To be continued..._


	2. Hope's The Thing

**To Hell and Back**

by Maria Sophania

**Hope's the Thing**

The undead Miko narrowed her eyes on the hanyou who stood before her. She had never seen him like this. He was unkept and looked as though he had not slept in days. His physical state surprised her. She had not seen him in several months, mildly taken aback when she recently discovered the state of his closest comrade.

"She is with child."

It was not a question. InuYasha nodded numbly at her statement, his face still set.

"And yet you stand before me, prepared to leave them all to come to hell with me." She could not help but to satiate her curiosity. "Why, InuYasha?"

InuYasha clutched his hands at his sides, absently producing tiny droplets of blood that fell to the still blades of grass at his feet.

"I made you a promise, Kikyou. I won't break that. Not with you."

"Then you still love me?"

Kikyou searched his face as the hanyou before her neither hesitated nor flinched as he spoke.

"I've _always_ loved you, Kikyou. You're the one who allowed me to become who I am today. Without you, I would never have…"

His voice trailed off as his head hung low and eyes pressed shut. His ears remained flat to his head, evidence of his distressed emotional state.

Kikyou narrowed her eyes once again on the man before her. Disdain evident in her voice.

"Then why have you produced offspring with _her_? If you truly loved me, then you—"

"I _do_ love you, Kikyou, damnit! Or at least I did. I loved…love the Kikyou who showed me that all humans ain't bad." He reached up and gripped her arms, shaking her slightly as he spoke, fire in his eyes. "I thought after my mother died that I'd never fit in again, you showed me that I could. Without you, I'd be lost standing here today. But you're not _her_, Kikyou. You laid the groundwork, for that I will always love you, but you couldn't build on it."

His eyes made their way to the grass between them, illuminated by the undead miko's shinidama-chuu.

"Our fuckin' lives have been riddled with nothin' but pain and tragedy. We've been fate's playthings for too long, Kikyou. After everything we've been through, don't you think that I could do nothing but love you?"

"I see. Though I fear you are mistaking love for heartfelt fondness, InuYasha."

InuYasha raised his eyes once more, staring determinedly into the empty ones of the shell before him as she continued.

"You are fond of me and all that we've been through, guilt driving you to your actions. You _love_ her."

When InuYasha spoke, his voice was low and controlled, regret coming into his heart for both Kikyou and Kagome.

"Kikyou, you've always had my love…or fondness…whatever the fuck you want to call it, but Kagome…Kagome holds my future, and now I can honestly say I'm ready to go with you…to hell I mean. I can't regret not one damn thing except for things that could be. But the past, I can't regret any of it, not anymore."

Kikyou focused on the amber eyes she had memorized long ago. There, she found something she had not seen in a long time. There, nestled deep within his soul, was contentment and happiness.

"You really are willing to give up everything…the comrades, the woman, the _child_ just to keep your word to me? To journey with me to hell?"

InuYasha nodded once, doing his best to keep his fear out of his eyes.

"Why, InuYasha? Do you pity me that much?"

"I don't pity you, Kikyou. I've already explained why I'm doin' this. I'm doin' this for you, because I cared about you when you lived,_ still_ care about who you were, and I think its only right to be with you as you returned to death. Afterall, we died on the same day."

Kikyou stood there for several long moments, weighing her hanyou. This was certainly not the InuYasha who cowered before her all those years ago when she still knew the beat of a heart. This hanyou who stood before her now was different. Revelation slowly crept into her mind, understanding finally coming to years of confusion. He was proud of who and what he was, and he was _accepted_ for it. _She_ was the reason for that. _She_ had shown him how to stand up for who he was. _She_ was the reason he had fought so hard against an immeasurable evil…and won. Kikyou slowly brought a cold hand to caress the side of his face, her eyes gentle as she spoke.

"What has she done to you, InuYasha? She had turned your heart against us. She has given you…hope."

InuYasha met her eyes and living ones met empty orbs. She narrowed her eyes on him, emptiness filling her soul but upon her decision, also a contentment she had never known before.

She quickly shoved him away from her, taking a step back as her voice never gave away the quiver her heart had felt at her choice.

"You cannot come to hell with so much of it. Hell is reserved only for those who are in search of anguish and desperation. There is no place there for _you_, InuYasha."

InuYasha blinked at her, confusion evident on his features. His ears no longer pressed flush against his platinum hair, but had risen minutely in curiosity at her words.

"But Kikyou…"

"No 'buts' InuYasha. You will never make it there. You hold too much of that accursed optimism with happiness washing over your soul." She smirked at him then, hiding the pain in her eyes. "You would be better off staying here in this living world until it has beaten you down enough to give you the misery that is required to enter those damnable gates."

InuYasha stood completely confused. His ears now stood erect atop his head, the action not unnoticed by the undead miko before him.

"Do you still not understand, InuYasha?"

"I promised you, Kikyou. I _promised_, damnit! You've made sure to remind me that I had to keep my word, and I have, faithfully." Things were so much easier when he could solve all his problems with the wave of his sword. Emotions and their cursed reactions left his simply mind confused. "Damnit, Kikyou, what the hell's going on?!"

"She has purified your soul. In your time with her, you have acquired her staggering ability to hope…and that makes you far too powerful for hell to hold you. It remains reserved for those of us who have no hope left, not for those of you who have allowed it to fester and strengthen your souls."

She turned her back to him then, closing her eyes as her shinidama-chuu gathered around her, illuminating her figure.

"Return to her, InuYasha. Raise your child. And I shall see you again at the end of your days when your soul has worn down enough for me to embrace it once again."

With her last word, the ground opened up and in a single moment, the miko Kikyou was gone from the mortal world forever. The fading light around the hanyou confirmed that the undead Miko had found peace at last, a warmth washing over him unlike his memories of her in the recent years. _Be at peace, finally, Kikyou_.

_To be continued…_


	3. A Future Worth Living For

Author's Note:

Here is the final installment of the _To Hell and Back_ series. Enjoy, because I'm not so sure you are going to see anything out of me for a while. I'm not going to be able to continue writing InuYasha fanfiction until the manga stops making me so damn nervous.

**To Hell and Back**

by Maria Sophania

**A Future Worth Living For**

He ran faster than he had ever thought possible, almost flying as his feet touched the ground for fractions of a second before pushing into the air again. One thought rang through his mind as he trailed her now fading scent.

_Kagome_.

--

Kagome had returned to the houshi and taijiya, clutching the Tetsusaiga and drawing the red fire-rat haori closer about herself. No words were spoken as Miroku rose from his place and the group slowly made their way back to the village. Miroku trailed behind as Sango walked beside the miko, fearing her pregnant state and all this emotional mayhem. Shippou sat on his adoptive mother's shoulders, his little green eyes darting this way and that as his nose remained on full alert to alarming scents.

Kagome could only stare at the road ahead. As much as she would like to have admitted that she was reminiscing about times now long passed, her mind remained completely blank. There was nothing, just a void. Her hand raised to her swollen belly as a gentle kick brought her mind out of its reverie.

They continued to walk in silence for sometime before Kagome finally spoke, her voice void of emotion.

"Sango?"

The taijiya turned to her best friend and gave her the best smile she could. "Yes, Kagome-chan?"

"What do you think I should do? I mean, I've been thinking about it for a while now. Maybe I should go home…back to my time. But I'd miss you guys so much. But I know that my mom would be there to help me with the pup…oh, I just don't know where to go from here, Sango. I thought I did, but I'm not so sure anymore."

Kagome raised her eyes for the first time in hours to look upon her comrade. She had met Sango in hard fought fury, quickly becoming fast allies and friends when they realized who their real enemy was. In all her years knowing her friends from her own time, she still considered her companionship with Sango five hundred years in the past the best and most valuable. The last thing she wanted to do was leave any of this family she had established here.

Sango moved her eyes back to the path, her grip tightening on Hiraikotsu.

"It's a hard decision, Kagome. I won't lie to you…I will miss you very much. But you should do what is going to be best for you and the child."

"I know. And I'll miss you too, so much. But I'm also afraid of the fact that this is InuYasha's child—"

"_Pup_."

Shippou's interjection caught both women off guard, forcing Kagome's eyes to move to the kitsune perched on her shoulder.

"Inu-youkai have _pups_, not _childs_."

Kagome and Sango grinned at the kit who was obviously taking InuYasha's last request of him rather seriously. It gave Kagome some comfort, knowing that her adoptive son would always be the same.

"Right. Sorry, Shippou. This is InuYasha's _pup_, and I'm afraid he won't fit in back in my time. He'll be part youkai. Maybe I can just go home for a while, and then come back here just before or right after he's born?"

Kagome turned to Sango, a lost question evident in her eyes. The taijiya's sigh almost imperceptive, she averted her eyes to the field around them as they left the path through the trees and made their way onto village land.

The villagers looked up from their chores to watch the group pass, nodding in reverence to the great miko and her companions.

"Kagome-chan, I think you should do whatever is going to be best for you and your _pup_. Keep in mind, though, that in this world, hanyou are looked on with scorn. Your child will be no different. You'll probably even receive _more_ ridicule for you being a miko."

Kagome's hand rubbed absently over her belly, her thoughts far away.

"I know, I do, Sango-chan. But in my world, he—or she—won't be able to be who they really are and that's what I care about most. A person should be proud of who they are and where they come from, regardless of parentage, background, or blood."

The group continued in silence for another short time, nearing the outskirts of the huts. Kagome's mind was brought back to the present when she felt an almost painful clutch at her shoulder. Moving her face to rest on the kitsune's, she widened her eyes on what she saw there.

The kit was staring behind them, wide-eyed, and in some state of shock. Kagome turned, looking into the trees and trying to sense whatever had the kit so distraught.

"Shippou, what is it?"

The others had stopped and turned, just as Kagome had done, glancing into the trees. It was quite disconcerting to see Shippou speechless. It was Miroku who spoke first, realization coming to him for the Kit's behavior.

"A youkai is headed this way. Fast." Miroku moved to stand in front of Kagome, holding his shakujou at the ready for an attack. "_Really_ fast."

"Houshi-sama."

Sango stood beside him, both ready to defend the pregnant miko from the future, but more importantly, they were ready to defend their friend.

What had leapt out of the trees, however, left them all dumbstruck. Miroku dropped his stance and Sango dropped her Hiraikotsu to the ground in shock. Kagome stared mindlessly at the figure in front of her as it slowed its pace and walked deliberately toward them, its eyes never leaving hers.

"Inu…InuYasha?"

The hanyou maintained his steps, not moving too fast toward the people in front of him but maintained a rather slow, predatory pace.

Shippou nodded at Kagome for confirmation, and the woman narrowed her eyes.

"InuYasha! Stop right there!"

When the hanyou made no move to follow her orders, Kagome had no other choice.

"Sit boy!"

The hanyou before her fell instantly to the ground. No curses were heard. No shouts of protest. Nothing. When the power of the spell receded, the hanyou slowly, almost painfully rose to his feet and stood there gazing at the woman with guarded eyes.

"I don't know what's going on, but I can't do it again." Her fists clenched at her side, turning her knuckles white. At some point during this exchange, the houshi and taijiya had moved aside and the kitsune had abandoned his perch. "I can't say goodbye again, InuYasha. So just don't do this!"

There was so much desperation in her voice that it made InuYasha flinch. He could not continue to make her hurt like this. She did not deserve everything he put her through. No, she deserved better. _But she chose _me._ What the hell am I supposed to do when I love her so fuckin' much_?

"Kikyou released me from my promise."

Kagome stared at him with wide eyes, unbelief evident in her features. In a split second, unsure of exactly what to feel, anger crossed over her features. Call it hormones. Call it hanging around the cursing hanyou for too many years. Call it what you wished, but what came out of the innocent miko's mouth next was completely unexpected.

"What the hell?! You mean to tell me that she pestered you about it for _years_, approached you about it right after Naraku _finally_ died for the last time, and crushed my spirits more than once, only to _fuck_ with us? What?! The?! Hell?!"

InuYasha stared with wide eyes at his mate. Never before had he heard words such as that come from her mouth. He would later discover that he was so damn proud of her mouth, but at that time he did not know how to respond. So he retaliated the one way he did best.

"So what?! You _wanted_ me to go to hell with her? Is that it?! I'd thought you'd be happy that she let me go!"

"I _am_ happy, damnit! But I just spent _weeks_ conceding to the fact that you were gonna be gone! I feel like she's done this only to fuck with us!"

"She didn't do it to fuck with us, Kagome! Damnit, listen to me, bitch, before jumping to conclusions!"

InuYasha had slowly approached the seething woman, coming to stand just in front of her, bringing his hands to clutch her arms and bring her face within inches of his own. Kagome felt the anger of the fight leave her when he touched her. Up until then, he could have been only a figment, but when he touched her, it made the fact that he was standing here very real and that scared her. When the hanyou spoke again, it was in a gentler tone, one he had come to use often with this frustrating woman from the future.

"Look. I'm right here, Kagome. I didn't leave you. Now are you gonna listen to me, bitch?"

Kagome nodded numbly, her eyes locked on the amber ones she had grown to love over their many years together.

"She said in order to go to hell I needed regret and despair and whole bunch of other hateful emotions. When I looked inside, I couldn't find any of those. Kikyou saw it too. And you know, she was right." InuYasha smiled at the confused woman before him, resting his forehead on hers. "Without you, I'd never have found that contentment with my life. You gave it all to me, Kagome."

It took the woman another moment before she could speak, uncertainty leaking into her words.

"So, you're not going to hell with Kikyou?"

"Nope. She left me here."

"So _she_'s gone? From this world?"

"Yah. Finally, she can have some peace."

Kagome smiled widely at him and jumped into his embrace, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and crushing her lips against his.

InuYasha could only respond in kind, grinning as the woman of his dreams pressed her body against his just the way he loved it. As they stood there, lips locked in a fevered battle, InuYasha felt again, and not for the last time, the feel of the woman's breasts against his chest, their pup against his stomach, and her love as he wondered about what great future they would create…together.

**Fine.**


End file.
